Bob-a-job-alog-a-roonie

The photos alone are probably enough to explain the idea (tip: the pink bits are erect whale penises).





Complete story here.

Labels: serpents, whales

Note I didn't say rude language. And there's nothing wrong with the grammar. The problem is they tell me something completely different to the truth!

I've been trying to log in to an old St George Dragon Direct account for the past week, I haven't touched it for a year, and I'm not 100% sure of my password.

Each time I try to log on I see this:



Maybe I'm just daft, but when I read "Error: The System is currently unavailable. Please try again later. We apologise for any inconvenience caused." I think their site is down.

After a week I figured that can't be the case, so I phoned them, and the answer is that my account needs to be reset, and I can achieve that by visiting a branch.

Surely, surely, surely the message could say "You account is not available, please contact us"?

Labels: st george bank

Thought not. Neither could I. But Amazon's top reviewer has either been doing this for 8 years:

Harriet Klausner, No. 1 since the inception of the ranking system in 2000, has averaged 45 book reviews per week over the last five years—a pace that seems hard to credit, even from a professed speed-reader.

...or she is a collective of reviewers, and/or the books don't actually get read.

So take any Amazon reviews with a pinch of salt, especially if the reviewer has written thousands of reviews.

Labels: amazon

Yay for privatisation. Whichever public servant twat that decided competition would provide better value to the consumer certainly forgot to factor in something.

Almost every week I get a phone call from someone who "isn't trying to sell me anything", which is technically correct, because they are trying to hoodwink me into changing from one generic provider to another generic provider, each of which have the exact same product, with their pricing set by the government, but give the illusion of better value by offering minor discounts and green-sounding plans.

And each phone call, or in this case door-knock (which requires me to find clothes to put on and then walk the length of the house, and back, and then take clothes off), costs me time, and therefore our country loses my productivity!

It's like the bloody public transport - competing companies that have different routes. Madness!

The sooner things that should be run by the government are return to public ownership, the better. Sure, telcos should be private, because the constant improvement due to competition is good (but perhaps the infrastructure should be public...) - but how on Earth is competition going to provide me with better quality electricity?

Wankers the lot of them.

Labels: rant

People in England depend on the state looking after them to such an extent, there is now a trial to save them from walking into lamp posts while texting on their phones:



Watch the video report.

What's next, nappies for adults? Restaurants where the staff feed you with a spoon?

Labels: padding

The inventor would have found them funny/cool/amazing. I like this one:



It's called CrashBonzai.

Read here for rat-powered clock, angel snot, turd twister, and internet urinal.