— Bob-a-job-alog-a-roonie

A long, long time ago I created two social movements, one that grew from just me to 100K members in Australia (ecology), and a little doomsday movement that reportedly gave 8% of the planet anxiety – for a good reason says I.

This is #3. I have ideas every day but I think I can make this one happen.

Male receptionists.

Following Women’s Day 2019 there has been a lot of chatter surrounding pay equity, more than ever before, I sense. And the solution is to get women into higher paying roles, and of course end gender bias.

But there is another way – get men into lower paying jobs. For true equity, this must be considered. ScoMo, bless his uselessness, tried to articulate this and fell heavily. Idiot.

• Receptionists are paid a relatively low wage
• The skills cannot be gender-assigned as easily as childcare due to “nurturing”. But yeah, there is an aspect (Mum getting you ready for school)
• Clearly attractiveness is often a factor
• Receptionists often have subsidiary duties (like cleaning up the kitchen and making coffees)

Debate this: why aren’t men working as receptionists? It seems like an easy job. The pay is low, but isn’t terrible….

Women are chosen based on looks to provide a nicer experience for the presumably important male person arriving.

(If only 60% of important visitors are men, this still makes sense).

I’ve lived in small towns, small offices, big corporations, the whole range. As importance rises, for the receptionist role, so does looks. This also happens in retail. Go to Chapel Street or Myer. I’m generalising….

ULTIMATELY

• There is no reason for a receptionist to be female, in an equal world
• Most people would baulk at a fat, old, male receptionist. Like it it not.
• Even if they were better skilled at the role!
• Solve this one thing, and everything else falls into place

*businesses can achieve gender pay equity without paying more in wages!

Full disclosure, my first ever job had a receptionist component to it. But I was a teen dweeb and the others serving that role were attractive middle-aged mums. It felt like no contest. Society made that dichotomy.

Patents aren’t cheap. Filing is reasonably affordable, but getting the application written in the weird and unique way required costs money.

In my experience, something that can be described on the back of an envelope, or napkin, will cost $5K-$10K to the patent in America.

Perfect for crowdfunding:

• Often inventors can’t afford the costs
• Spread the risk
• Inventor gets 51%, pays nothing
• Supporters pay say $200 each for 1%
• Every supporter has an incentive to promote the idea

If I were to win Lotto, I’d start a business or two or three. I’m not convinced enough by any of these to do them unless I can afford for them to fail.

Man.Bag –  a shop that just sells bags (and I guess wallets and belts and hats) for men. Whenever I feel like a new shoulder bag or backpack I have to visit like 20 stores and I’m still frustrated.

Bob’s Robots – nobody buys robots at present except for vacuums and toys. Ten years from now people will be buying robots like they buy cell phones today. First in can own the space. Yep, have a robot shop before anyone is buying them.

Munch – grab and go food. No tables and chairs. Every food item is $4 for basic and $8 for gourmet. Think burgers, pies, chips, hot dogs, chicken.

Hamburgers.me – reinventing the burger. Burgers that are thinner and wider for easier eating. Fewer layers: Bun, Choose your Lettuce, Vegetables in a fritter, Cheese in the patty. Choose your Sauce.

Great fish and chips – There is no such thing as a very successful fish and chips chain. Needs to be done.

In certain industries – ones that have no major need to have offices in a particular place – having most of their main companies and startups in close proximity would mean:

• easier to change jobs without moving home
• little or no need for transport
• more socialising between companies
• a more competitive spirit
• more efficient for supporting businesses to be there – like an industry-specific employment agency

I figure these industries are suitable, along with possible locations:

Information Technology (West St Kilda)
Marketing (Richmond)
Finance / Insurance (Frankston)
Science (Footscray/Newport)

Each location would welcome a boost in spending on bars and restaurants, and 3 are very close to the city for visiting clients.

How does it happen? Local councils woo a couple of mid-sized businesses, and a start-up hub, and the rest will follow.

OpenDoor has just been funded with an extra few hundred million.

They buy homes at a 6% discount, to save people paying 7% in fees/costs and having to wait…

I predict that it will not be a long-term success. Because:

It doesn’t scale well. Apps for booking viewing times are not ground-breaking. National advertising won’t work any better than local advertising or word-of-mouth.

There’s no barrier to entry. Someone buying just one property can compete with them.

No first mover advantage. They won’t have the biggest marketplace. Anyone can sell the bought properties on whatever the dominant regular online marketplace is.

Competitors will offer better prices – in a race to zero profitability.

No repeat customers. No mailing list of any worth. No upgrades. No freemium model.

Other disruptors. Someone else will find a way of reducing realtor fees through technology. Without having to actually buy the property.

Interest rates will rise. When they do, they cost of holding a property before selling it will rise.

KILLER DOWNSIDE. When property prices fall, again (inevitable), they will go broke.

This business model can work if you only target the most desperate people – but even so, that is not too different to buying at mortgagee auctions. It could work if you target uninformed people with lowball offers.

It won’t work for OpenDoor. I have never seen so many negatives in a business.

If you have read this far, here’s a genuine winning idea. Property swap. Get everyone thinking of selling and everyone thinking of buying in the same system. And match up any that can be swapped – locations and price. Team up with Zillow for unbiased valuations. Costs are low. Sellers save 5-6%, not 1%. Profits are massive. First mover advantage.

(in Ballarat)

I ate at 25 different takeaways, twice at the finalists, over a winter and a bit, to determine who was best fish and chips in Ballarat.

None was drop-dead brilliant, but one was consistently tasty, fast and reasonably priced, Northway Fish House:

Northway Fish House

(the image above is in the direction of what I imagine, but a whole lot different…)

The venue already has a name – Munch.

The concept is obviously a twist on existing burgers. Layer by layer:

A thin bun. Probably sour dough but half the regular thickness. Might need some science to stay intact…

Sauce. Capsicum and tomato. Touch of chilli.

Cheese. But in strips, so the layers have some randomness. Long strips so they can hang over the edge.

Bacon. Boiled, not fried? Not sure, I want it soft enough to bite through in the middle of a burger.

The meat patty. Infused with onion. Moist, from being boiled? Then deep fried with a thin layer of batter.

Salad. Instead of being loose pieces of lettuce, I propose a vegetable fritter containing the healthiest and most fashionable veggies.

Optional bottom layer: could be mayo, or roasted capsicums, or fries, or something else reasonably thin. I think giant collapsing burgers are stupid.

Bottom half of the bun (of course). The buns are fried on the grill, with butter, and a weight upon them – to give them a touch of a grilled cheese sandwich going on. Actually, I think more two-day-old slices of bread than burger buns. Perhaps something in-between?

No lettuce. No onion (its in the pattie). No tomato – too slippy, already exists in the sauce.

The burger has always been about a cacophony of tastes and textures. My idea is to improve on that by giving more dimensions to the cheese, making it healthier and less fall-apart with a veggie fritter, and lowering the carb content and sheer bulk with lower profile buns. Maybe a bun with a bit of crust????

Regarding the pattie, I’m unsure of the first step, but 2nd step is a burst of hot deep frying, and the 3rd step is BBQed (like Burger King) with the cheeses strips melting onto it. “Triple Cooked”?.

Recent events have convinced me that major corporations keep and innovation up their sleeves for when they need the most – when there are signs that their business is about to take a downward turn.

McDonalds:

All-day breakfast. They knew that people had wanted this for an eternity. The timing of enabling this must be meaningful.
The Chicken Big Mac. I’m not a McDonalds fan, but I can see why this might appeal to some.

Cadbury:

Dark Dairy Milk. This is a killer product. Many, many people find dairy milk too light and dark chocolate (Old Gold) too dark.  Either they invented this last week, or it has been waiting for the right moment for many years…

Medicare:

Rely on Medibank’s expertise and range of covers to help you stay invincible, with things like optical, psychology, dental, and more. [link]
Yep, they are implying that health insurance, which primarily reacts to bad health outcomes, will help you be invincible to anything?
This language is extreme, and reeks of desperation. You can just imagine the corporate leaders agreeing to this wording because it is their last chance.