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I’ve had this opinion for 20 years and it hasn’t needed any revision….

Everybody is f*cked up, one way or another. If you approach people with this in mind, you might have more empathy and you might have more use.

1. F*cked up and blissfully unaware
2. F*cked up and struggling with it
3. F*cked up and dealing with it

There’s no right or wrong, it is just three versions of the same thing. However #3 is clearly the ideal for most people*. For example, Donald Trump is severely f*cked up and is blissfully unaware of it. While he might lead a contented life, he is unaware of the impact he has on others.

You will know someone who is battling their demons and it is not pretty to watch. They are #2.

People who are at #3 are more likely to evolve and thrive as a human being. They are still f*cked up, they just recognise it and deal with it.

If you approach everyone in the world as being in one of these 3 categories, you will be a better citizen (in my opinion). Give it a go, it’s only a a view and you can switch it off if it doesn’t suit you. For me the hardest part of this philosophy is staying positive.

I consider myself a #3. I had severe problems with my parents, my brother, drugs, alcohol and not knowing I was Aspergers. I consider all these issues resolved.

 

 

*there are many instances where being unaware would be the best outcome, typically involving childhood trauma.

 

 

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Aaaah, the sweet spot. The place where magic happens because all of the planets align  - but typically those planets are called drugs, effort, alcohol and desire.

pool

For me it has manifested itself the most when playing pool. Many pool players have experienced the sweet spot, and strive to achieve it every time they play. It is a time when they can do no wrong, and unfortunately it doesn’t last long. I’d say 10-15 minutes tops.

While I can see how the abstinent and the stoners could have a similar sweet spot, I believe it predominantly belongs to the drinkers. It is hard to strike a ball smoothly when stuck in sober reality, but as the beers or more kick in so does the smoothness and confidence. Before long you are in a league of your own, and shortly after that you have peaked and fail quite terribly.

As, I said, it is a well-known phenomenon in pool, but perhaps it is a universal principle that can be applied to a wide variety of situations?

I mentioned a combination of  drugs, effort, alcohol and desire.. If theoretically drugs, alcohol and effort were limitless, I suggest that desire wanes.

To take it a step further, perhaps desire is allocated according to long-term returns? If you are thinking of winning a game or a tournament, your desire might wane quite soon. If you are fixated on being the world snooker champion, then your desire might last longer.

Desire is most associated with romance, and I’d like to think that they who desire for love last longer than those who wish to win a game of pool or two.

[and I figure that all desire comes from a base of wanting to be loved]

Example: Gary Numan. He had the tunes to some degree, but was lacking looks or a voice. Normally all three are required. Not for Numan, because his desire to succeed rode over all barriers.

Live musical performance is a ritual, and rituals feed the flames of desire. I suggest that one-hit-wonders are just that because they tend not to tour, and have no ritual.

Yep, it is all just in your head.

 

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I think I look best with 3-5 days growth, and obviously the number of days will vary between men due to growth rates, and also how it matches their face. The key takeaway here is probably that women think men with beards make better fathers, and that heavy stubble suggests virility. I think it would be a different story if they only asked women, and only regarding a one-night stand. I think clean-shaven would win that one.

 

Here’s the article via Science:

Men may now think twice about reaching for a razor. A new study shows that facial hair says a lot about a man and that attractiveness peaks at the “heavy stubble” phase. Researchers photographed 10 men at four stages of beard growth: clean shaven, 5-day “light” stubble, 10-day “heavy” stubble (shown), and fully bearded. Three hundred and fifty-one women and 177 heterosexual men viewed the photos and rated each face for attractiveness, masculinity, health, and parenting ability. Women ranked heavily stubbled faces as the most attractive. Participants said that the clean-shaven men looked about as healthy and attractive as those with a full beard, but rated the bearded men higher for perceived parenting skills. Light stubble got the short end of the stick, garnering low scores across the board from both men and women. The 5-day growth may be too patchy, the researchers write in the May issue of Evolution and Human Behavior, which suggests “a threshold of density and distribution may be necessary for beards to function as an attractive signal.” Stubble conveys maturity and manliness, they write, with less of the macho aggressiveness implied by a full beard.

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On the one hand the site says it doesn’t endorse giving “crabs” to people, saying the lice are for “novelty purposes only”. On the other hand is the lovely contradiction of where they show the true intent of the service (as if the web address wasn’t sufficient) by saying “Make that bitch itch. If you want a method of revenge that doesn’t involve permanent damage or risk of personal injury or jail time, you have come to the right place”.

I find their most expensive offering intriguing – a special breed of lice that will survive in shampoo for up to 2 weeks…

Only available in the UK, and currently you can’t pay online, because no payment company wants to do business with them.

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Young, in love, walking up a local mountain where the guy plans to propose to the girl – and before he does, they get hit by lightning, and she dies. It’s either just the worst luck, or God decided to intervene. Hopefully if he ever proposes again, it’ll be uneventful.

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/210221-US-Woman-Killed-by-Lightning-Just-Before-Boyfriend-Was-to-Propose-in-North-Carolina

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