Seeing, Truly Seeing
20 years ago I was a tram conductor, and my days/nights consisted of Russian literature, vodka in my water bottle, and helping people with their journey.
One day, like an epiphany, I looked slowly and carefully at everyone on the tram, and I knew their sadness. And I knew that everyone has sadness.
Parallel with that I developed a fear that someone would get run over when leaving the tram – there were many close calls. Ever since then a good portion of my subconsciousness has willed car accidents not to happen…
Much more recently, maybe 5 years ago, I understood something new. There is nobody in this world I don’t like. Some people just take more time than others. There have been people I disliked immensely that I ended up liking.
Loving is a more proper word. Now the timeline between not getting, and getting someone, is diminishing. I fully expect that before long I will have a loving understanding of people, their good and bad, their happy and sad, when I first meet them. That’s the trajectory.
Marvellous. Lovely. Except I don’t know what to do with it. Become that guy on Oprah that hugged everyone? Start a cult?
I’m guessing the answer is to see humans just like animals and landscapes. To afford them that level of beauty and worthiness.
I wish I was an artist.