— Bob-a-job-alog-a-roonie

A gardener who rose to fame quickly, Joseph Paxton was an English MP, and that was his 3rd most noteworthy achievement. He also invented the Cavendish banana (to say this variety is popular would be putting it mildly), and designed the Crystal Palace – a extraordinary building that housed the Great Exhibition in 1851. Yep, it was over 500m long and 139 wide, with a glass roof. It was built in just 8 months and at one stage they were installing 18,000 panes of glass per week. Absolutely extraordinary.

So, the movie idea… Frame it around this amazing gentleman, to highlight the incredible achievements of the British Empire of the that era. The Great Exhibition housed 13,000 exhibits from 44 countries, some of them very weird and marvellous indeed. This was where many people had their first experience of the flushing toilet… All sorts of other interesting things can take tangents. Think a Wes Anderson film.

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Chicken-Big-Mac

Recent events have convinced me that major corporations keep and innovation up their sleeves for when they need the most – when there are signs that their business is about to take a downward turn.

McDonalds:

All-day breakfast. They knew that people had wanted this for an eternity. The timing of enabling this must be meaningful.
The Chicken Big Mac. I’m not a McDonalds fan, but I can see why this might appeal to some.

Cadbury:

Dark Dairy Milk. This is a killer product. Many, many people find dairy milk too light and dark chocolate (Old Gold) too dark.  Either they invented this last week, or it has been waiting for the right moment for many years…

Medicare:

Rely on Medibank’s expertise and range of covers to help you stay invincible, with things like optical, psychology, dental, and more. [link]
Yep, they are implying that health insurance, which primarily reacts to bad health outcomes, will help you be invincible to anything?
This language is extreme, and reeks of desperation. You can just imagine the corporate leaders agreeing to this wording because it is their last chance.

 

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This is a new and disturbing trend – achieving something that is a disadvantage to the business you are dealing with, takes more effort than should be reasonably expected.

Examples:

Foxtel – sign up online without talking to a human. To cancel, you need to phone them during business hours, and be on hold for up to 30 minutes, then endure a retention specialist trying to convince you to stay.

ING Direct – I received a letter telling me that my fees had changed (I joined them because of the no fees…). The letter said I could see the changes if I visited a particular URL. They could have just told me, but they required me to take an extra step, and read a long document full of information that doesn’t apply to me, to find out I am now paying $60/yr for my “fee free” account.

Solution – a law in two parts:

The ease of making an agreement with a business should be matched by the ease of ending the agreement.
When information is needed to be shared with a customer, it should take the least effort on the customer’s part to see and understand the information. If the information can be provided particular to the client’s situation, that should be the only information provided.

** Although I don’t expect any law changes on this, I have recently discovered that getting married is extremely easy to achieve, but having an amicable divorce involves a mass of paperwork if the government is involved in any way (such as receiving any money from them).

 

 

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There are three types of successful restaurants:

Fast food – generic crap for people who don’t know or care
Local and loved – flying under the radar, singular family run restaurants that provide consistent quality and service
Fine dining – the 10% paying a premium for perceived and probably better meals

For the 90%, the choices are the first two above. Cheap and easy, or a night out at an affordable restaurant with a level of quality.

But what the 90% truly prefer is Mum’s food, comfort food. So I propose a fast food place that provides the comfort food of your earlier years:

  • Hot Dogs
  • Grilled/Toasted Sandwiches
  • Pies
  • Roast Meat Rolls
  • Roast Dinners
  • Hamburgers

Divide the menu board into two: Standard and Fancy. Call the business This and That. Or Hem. Or Cardigan

Hot Dogs – $4 regular with homemade ketchup / $8 kransky with apple sauce
Toasted Sarnies – $4 for ham/cheese/tomato / $8 tandoori chicken and chutney
Pies – $4 for beef / $8 for bolognese
Hamburgers – $4 for a cheeseburger / $8 for a chicken schnitzel & slaw burger
Chips – $2 from the bain-marie / $4 for freshly cooked and beer battered

Serving time ranges from zero to 5 minutes.

Prices are uniform. You choose the food that you want, not based on cost. $4 for standard, $8 for fancy.

Water is free. Coke etc is $1.

Eat in is $1 more. Served on crockery, with metal cutlery.  Takeout is $1 cheaper if you bring your own container.

Call it Warped

Have  a signature tomato sauce.

If you were wondering about the target market:
66 per cent of Australians choosing to cook meat and three veg every night

And how many do a good job of it?

 

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Looks to me that someone has created a really good calendar / to-do app, and then make a non-electronic version of it, in written notebook form.

Just take a look at this page and tell me how to make new entries for a date without destroying the nice layout?

stat-here-daily-log

Not only is it impossible to expand spaces where needed, the whole system is inflexible. It seems to hinge around how a dot point can be changed to an X or > or <.

The system is really good except for two killer aspects:

1. Works better digitally
2. Works better if you just buy a diary with one page per day and lots of space

And here’s the fun fact – they sell a companion app for the physical idea that exists purely to replace apps
http://bulletjournal.com/companion/

Caveat – yes, the more effort you put into noting down something, the more you are inclined to recall it, and integrate into the rest of your life. So just doodle in a journal and use Google calendar.

 

 

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Simple concept:

See the logo / screenshot
Swipe left or right
Choose to see more info if that is important to you

Everyone who votes for a business idea gets a chance to invest in it…

 

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Print

Yawn, politics again…

To be successful in a democracy, a politician needs to please the most people. The key to pleasing folk is to discover what they actually want.

So just ask them:

If someone could help you achieve it, what would you most want to do?

Obviously it needs to be asked to a lot of people, and a cross-section of society (a good excuse to find new ways of conducting surveys that aren’t biased towards bored people with landline phones). I figure this particular question works best if people are given time to ponder it.

You can guarantee that in the resulting answers there will be indicators as to what people really want from life. And then, within reason, give it to them.

Examples:

People want to experience foreign lands, but can’t afford it. Create a working holiday exchange program.

People want to open their own cafe. Create a TAFE course designed to guide them, but also save them from making costly mistakes.

People want to quit their minimum wage job and work on their art. Create a universal wage system.

People want to quit their minimum wage job and spend more time looking after their disadvantaged family member or friend. Create a universal wage system.

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ls

Yet another business idea for you :)

Train prospective chefs for a month at a private facility, and at the same time they can sort out which ingredients they will need. I don’t know how you find them, perhaps also-rans from Master Chef??

Every new moon the restaurant proper gets a new chef, with 10 menu items they created. The rest of the menu consists of a few staples that never change, but non with enough wow enough on their own to be the main reason people visit. I’m thinking entrees, deserts and sides.

For the first week of a new chef, everything is 1/2 price, including drinks. This inspires people to give the new menu a go. With the understanding that their might be some hiccups.

Aside from the chef, all the staff are permanent, all systems are permanent, decor is permanent.

The chef’s photo/story are promoted with the menu, and you can take the menu home. It also has one recipe.

Big party at full moon, regardless of the day of week. One sitting, followed by drinks and live music, set price.

At the end of the month, if the chef is a hit, they get one encore month. Beyond that, the owners may choose to invest in a full-time restaurant with the chef.

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One of my maxims in life is that if I really hate something, there’s a good chance I really like it, deep down. This ties in with my belief that being a hypocrite is human nature, and not something to be judged by (I’m talking your life actions, not semantics and debates).

Example: in my extended years of backpacking, I came across a curious subset in the UK that went on cathedral tours. They had a set list of 10, 15, 20 cathedrals and they saw every one and that was their journey. Each to their own but they made other backpackers look at the their photos. Not cool, not interesting, and I suffered and hated it quite a few times through politeness. But wait! In later years, knowing what I do about the non-Christian history of such places, they do interest me quite a bit. But I would still hate that display of photos demonstrating the grandeur, and no pagan insights.

But here’s the thing. Having an odd purpose takes you away from the most touristed paths and opens up so many more possibilities. The less common your purpose, the more likely you will end up in scenarios that other tourists never have. You get a unique experience, and you see the real sides of the country you are visiting.

I love looking an extreme examples to find a truth. What if I decided to visit the owners of the 10 fattest hamsters in Bulgaria? You can guarantee I would have a unique and very real insight into that country.

Which brings me to today. When David Bowie dies, I listened to every album he made in chronological order. Then when Prince died, I did the same. Now, as I am looking through old Uncut magazines before I throw them out, I have come across their top 60 albums of the year 2000. With the aid of Spotify, I will listen to each one, counting down from 60 to 1.

(Obviously I will cut short any that don’t appeal to me…)

I expect this odd purpose will find me things otherwise unobtainable.
1. Lambchop – Nixon
2. Primal Scream – Xtrmntr
3. Radiohead – Kid A
4. Badly Drawn Boy – The Hour Of Bewilderbeast
5. Eminem – The Marshall Mathers LP
6. Emmylou Harris – Red Dirt Girl
7. Outkast – Stankonia
8. Ryan Adams – Heartbreaker  - ALREADY SAVED
9. Kid 606 – Down With The Scene
10. Birth – Gotton Bold
11. Steely Dan – Two Against Nature
12. The Magnetic Fields – 69 Love Songs
13. The Kingsbury Manx – The Kingsbury Manx
14. Leila – Courtesy Of Choice
15. Godspeed You Black Emperor! – Lift Yr Skinny Fists Like Antennas To The Sky
16. Warren Zevon – Life’ll Kill Ya
17. Phoenix – United
18. Calexico – Hot Rail
19. The Web Brothers – Maroon
20. Lewis Taylor – Lewis II
21. Lou Reed – Ecstacy - NOT FOR ME
22. Amon Tobin – Supermodified - NOT ON SPOTIFY
23. Smog – Dongs Of Sevotion - NOT ON SPOTIFY
24. Doves – Lost Souls - NOT FOR ME
25. The Go-Betweens – The Friends Of Rachel Worth - NOT FOR ME
26. Gonzales – The Entertainist- NOT ON SPOTIFY
27. Willard Grant Conspiracy – Everything’s Fine - NOT ON SPOTIFY
28. Kelis – Kaleiderscope - NOT FOR ME
29. Deltron 3030 – Deltron 3030  - NOT FOR ME
30. The For Carnation – The For Carnation - NOT FOR ME
31. Broadcast – The Noise Made By People  - SAVED
32. Knife In The Water – Plays One Around The Other - NOT ON SPOTIFY
33. Goldfrapp – Felt Mountain  - ALREADY SAVED AND F’KIN AWESOME
34. The Handsome Family – In The Air  - ALREADY SAVED
35. Eels – Daisies Of The Galaxy   - SAVED
36. Elliott Smith – Figure 8  - SAVED
37. Marah – Kids In Philly  - SAVED
38. Patti Smith – Gung Ho - NOT FOR ME
39. Yo La Tengo – And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out - NOT FOR ME
40. Jeff Buckley – Mystery White Boy- NOT FOR ME
41. Sonic Youth – Nyc Ghosts & Flowers - NOT FOR ME
42. Dr Dre – 2001 - NOT FOR ME
43. Joe Pernice – Big Tobacco  - ALREADY SAVED
44. Add N To X – Add Insult To Injury - NOT QUITE FOR ME
45. The Mighty Wah! – Songs Of Strength And Heartache - NOT ON SPOTIFY
46. Chris Morris – Blue Jam - NOT ON SPOTIFY
47. The Twilight Singers – Twilight As Played By The Twilight Singers - NOT FOR ME
48. St Ettienne – Sound Of Water -  NOT ON SPOTIFY
49. Black Box Recorder – The Facts Of Life – MAYBE
50. XTC – Wasp Star: Apple Venus Vol. 2- NOT ON SPOTIFY
51. Apples In Stereo – The Discovery Of The World Inside The Moone – SAVED (But track #1 is probably all that is good)
52. Clinic – Internal Wrangler - NOT FOR ME
53. The Shazam – Goodspeed The Shazam - NOT ON SPOTIFY
54. …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead – Madonna – NOT ON SPOTIFY (but a big fan)
55. Go-Kart Mozart – Instant Wigwam And Igloo Mixture – ALREADY SAVED
56. Asian Dub Foundation – Community Music - NOT ON SPOTIFY
57. Elastica – The Menace – SAVED
58. Romanthony – R Hide In Plain Site- NOT ON SPOTIFY
59. June And The Exit Wounds – A Little More Heaven Hamilton, Please – NOT ON SPOTIFY
60. Max Tundra – Some Best Friend You Turned Out To Be – NOT FOR ME
61. Brave Captain – Go With Yourself - NOT ON SPOTIFY
62. Mandalay – Instinct – MAYBE
63. Fatboy Slim – Halfway Between The Gutter And The Stars – BEEN THERE DONE THAT
64. The Russian Futurists – The Method Of Modern Love – NOT FOR ME
65. The Wu-Tang Clan – The W – NOT FOR ME
66. Giant Sand – Chore Of Enchantment – SAVED and LOVING
67. David Holms – Bow Down At The Exit Sign - NOT ON SPOTIFY
68. The Hight Llamas – Buzzle Bee  - NOT ON SPOTIFY
69. Bent – Programmed To Love – SAVED
70. PJ Harvey – Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea - SAVED

 

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Anticipation2

Sometimes the noon rule doesn’t apply
Continuing the delights of the previous night
Or avoiding the anticipated drudgery of today
So a different path is taken
And I miss the opportunity for things to come right on their own

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